Couple Support

One of the most important facets of the Covenant Marriage Movement is to provide support to married couples or those who are considering marriage.

"In 1996, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that 80 to 90 percent of men and women of age 15 would get married by the end of their lives. Of this group, many will divorce, of course. But interestingly, the Bureau also reported that the majority of those who divorce will remarry. Today, this isn't hard to believe, as our neighborhoods are full of people who are in their second or third marriages. In spite of the problems that plague marriages and the high percentage of expected failures, the report states that the majority of people, and especially men, will still live their lives married to someone.1 So the question isn't so much, 'Are you married?' or 'Are you planning to get married?,' as much as it is, 'How do you define marriage?' and 'What kind of marriage do you want to have?'"2

Of that 80 to 90 percent who get married, many of us have repeated, or will repeat, the following words to our spouse during our wedding ceremony.

"I take thee to be my lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance and thereto I pledge thee my troth."

Though the language may appear archaic or even foreign to us, the commitment remains pertinent for couples today. The significance of the words does not, however, take on personal value until you are the one standing before the pastor, county clerk, family, friends, and "these witnesses" repeating them to the one standing in front of you, your spouse-to-be. In repeating these words to your spouse-to-be, you are making a vow to God and to them. Even then, it is the relationship that has been formed prior to your wedding day that gives significance to the words being spoken.

Those of us who have repeated a vow such as this to our spouse in a wedding ceremony can attest to the fact that even though we loved our spouse, we didn't fully understand the implications or magnitude of what we were saying when we repeated our wedding vows.

Though our intentions are good when we marry, we have no perception of the depth of the unconditional love necessary to uphold these commitments to which we are agreeing. Our promises have not been tried and tested by time and turmoil.

Too many people today view marriage as a legal contract. Contracts are based on rights and responsibilities and are motivated by self-centeredness rather than unconditional love. A legal contract is necessary to begin, and likewise to end, a marriage, but a covenant is more than a contract. It is more than a legal document declaring a state of interdependence.

The value of a "covenant marriage relationship" as opposed to a "contractual marriage agreement" lies in a person's understanding and acceptance of God's intent for marriage and the importance of His presence in the marriage.

¹ “Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorce: 1996;” Household Economic Studies, February 2002, 16-19.

² Brown and Waugh, Covenant vs. Contract: Experiencing the Blessing of God In & Through Your Marriage, (Franklin, Son Publishers, 2004), 8.

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