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Covenant Marriage Movement
Making God's Design Your Desire |
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| February 2008 |
Vol 2, Issue 2 |
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Covenant Marriage Sunday! |
Celebrate Covenant Marriage Sunday at your  church with your congregation. This year's topic is "Moving Beyond The Mundane." Congregational Kits are available by clicking Covenant Marriage Sunday or by calling toll-free: 800-311-1662 Don't miss this special opportunity!
To learn more about Covenant Marriage Sunday and the meaning behind Covenant Marriage by reading the article in this newsletter entitled, "What Is Covenant Marriage Sunday?" by Phil Waugh, executive director of The Covenant Marriage Movement.
Endorsements For Covenant Marriage Sunday:
"The Covenant Marriage Sunday emphasis led by Phil and Cindy Waugh is a great experience for any and every church. Phil and Cindy have been our friends for many years, and we know them to be a couple of great integrity with a passion to strengthen marriages and churches. God has impressed on us to be a part of initiating this lifting up of marriage God's way--before a watching world. You and your church will greatly benefit from this significant experience!"
Henry & Marilynn Blackaby
Blackaby Ministries International
"There continues to be a growing interest to uplift and strengthen marriages within greatly diverse cultures around the world. We are seeing God at work within and outside our western culture. The desire of the hearts of couples is the same, to find joy in their marriage that will provide security and energizes them to face the uncertainties of life. We Believe Covenant Marriage Sunday provides local congregations an opportunity to celebrate the joy that can be found in marriage through their relationship with God."
David & Claudia Arp
Marriage Alive Ministries
Authors of Ten Great Dates For You and Your Mate |
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What Is Covenant Marriage Sunday? |
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By Phil Waugh Executive Director of the Covenant Marriage Movement
Covenant Marriage Sunday continues to provide a great opportunity for couples and congregations to affirm their support of marriage as a covenant relationship and to recommit themselves to living their lives accordingly.
Our nation is struggling with the legalization of homosexual relationships with the ultimate relationships being lived out in legalized homosexual unions called marriage. Why should we, as Christians, expect a sinful world to respond in any other way than a self-gratifying lifestyle, be it heterosexual or homosexual? The fact is, the world cannot embrace a Christian view without first viewing it.
The challenge we face as Christians is to present to the world a view of marriage that dispels any shadow of doubt that marriage as God designed it is the best arena of human relationships through which you can experience love to its fullest degree. God's view of marriage is a covenant relationship. In Ezekiel 16:8 as the Lord God speaks of His relationship with Jerusalem, He said, "When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine, says the Lord God." The following seven verses describe how God provided for His bride. Verse 15 and the next 44 verses describes how Jerusalem, the bride, fell prey to her own beauty and fame and became the queen of harlots. Then, in verses 60-63, we read this account, "Nevertheless, I will remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you. Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed, when you receive your older and your younger sisters; for I will give them to you for daughters, but not because of My covenant with you. And I will establish my covenant with you then you shall know that I am the Lord, that you may remember and be ashamed, and never open your mouth anymore because of your shame, when I provide you an atonement for all you have done, says the Lord God."
The world views marriage as a legal contract between two or more individuals. Contracts are based on rights and responsibilities and are motivated by self-interests rather than on unconditional love. A legal contract is necessary to begin and likewise end a relationship. But a covenant is more than a contract. It is more than a legal document declaring a state of interdependence.
The concept of marriage as a "contract" cannot be documented in God's Word. In fact, the word "contract" cannot be found in commonly used versions of the Bible. The word "covenant" on the other hand, can be found approximately 300 times in scripture.
The value of a "covenant marriage relationship" as opposed to a "contractual marriage agreement" lies in a person's understanding and acceptance of God's intent for marriage and the importance of His presence in the marriage.
God intends for marriage to be a lifelong covenant relationship between one man and one woman under His Lordship. As your congregation comes together in worship on the third Sunday in February, we encourage you to proclaim God's Word regarding marriage as a covenant relationship through which His name is glorified. We also encourage you to provide an opportunity for the couples in your congregation to affirm their relationship as a covenant marriage by signing a Couple's Commitment Card. | |
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Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? |
By Dawn Emeigh, Editor of CMM News
Many of you have probably heard about or even viewed the game show "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" The premise behind the show is that adult contestants compete against several fifth graders to answer correctly questions from basic categories such as math, english, science and so forth. Usually the adult flounders around for the answer, trying desperately to dust the cobwebs from a part of the brain that hasn't been exercised in some time, while the fifth graders are fighting for the chance to blurt out the correct response.
As February is the month of love and much emphasis is placed on the topic, I thought it would be interesting to find out if we adults are smarter than fifth graders when it comes to matters of the heart. I asked about 15 of my son's classmates the basic question: what is love? I wanted to capture their thoughts on the subject before life had a chance to steal their innocence, place demands on them, and in general, warp their idea of what love truly means. Some of the responses made me laugh--others brought tears to my eyes. Here are a few of my favorites:
Love is..."doing something really bad and still getting hugged when you get home from school"
This one came from a boy that has struggled to stay out of the principal's office this year. What he is really saying is that his parent's are forgiving of him--even when he messes things up again and again. He has the basic understanding that their love for him never wavers. Although they may be disappointed with his choices, his mom greets him with open arms and an embrace filled with compassion and grace. Often marriages are filled with unrealistic expectations and demands of one another. So much so, that there is virtually no room left for forgiveness and understanding. When you are disappointed by your spouse, try opening your arms and filling your response with unconditional love.
Love is...."my dad coming to all my games and cheering for me"
This boy was reminding me that an important component of love is the action(s) that you put behind your words. Not only do we want to look in the stands of life for our spouse, we want them to be our loudest cheerleader! As we attempt to gain the point, we want to hear their encouraging words and know they are behind us whether we win this round or not. Are you a supporter--present in your spouse's life? Do you speak powerful words of truth or do you cast doubt into the lives of those you claim to love?
Love is..."always nice and never hurts your feelings"
This girl knew the pain of the wounded spirit. She, no doubt, had experienced the heartache of being let down by someone that should have known better. Lashing out in anger or hurting your spouse intentionally leaves deep scars that often mar the landscape of your marriage permanently. We can all learn from this youngster's admonition to treat one another just the way that we would want to be treated--or even better than we would want to be treated!
Love is..."being adopted!"
I wish I could have bottled the sheer joy radiating from this little girl. She knows the love story behind her adoption--the longing and prayers of her parents, and finally the pure happiness of her arrival in their home. Most of all, she realizes that she is wanted and belongs. In the same sense, we are all adopted into our heavenly Father's family. He longs for us to fill a spot at His table, and His invitation is one of unconditional love. In marriage, your spouse should know that they are the answer to your heart's desires. They should have no doubt that their place at the table is meaningful and special and can only be filled by them.
My son gave my favorite answer: Love is..."eternity." So great was God's love for us that he gave His son's life that we might spend eternity with Him. There is no other example of love that can compete. It is the foundation on which we should build our love of others upon.
So I challenge you to the quiz show question: in love and marriage, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Maybe we could all dust the cobwebs from our minds and hearts and search for those basic truths we learned so long ago.
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,
for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Matthew 19:14 (NIV) |
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Covenant Fundamentals |
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By Dave Brown
I was listening to a comedian on the radio today tell about his in-laws. One brother-in-law recently got out of jail and complained, "I tried to call you on my cellphone, but you didn't answer." The comedian responded, "What are you talking about? You don't have a cellphone." To which the b-i-l responded (in a frustrated, disgusting, "you're an idiot" kind of voice), "I'm talking about the phone outside my cell." The comedian's right. You can't buy stories like that. You marry them.
One guy I know married into a family where her parents show up every Christmas with lavish gifts for everyone, making him feel guilty if he doesn't spend a lot of money on the wife and kids as well. This isn't self-imposed. The parents really show their disappointment if he and his wife don't spend a lot of money on each other, the grandkids, and even them. He's a very nice guy. He hates opening the mail in late January.
Me? I like my in-laws. All of them. I have more in common with some than others, but I like them all. They're family. Lisa was a package deal. There's no such thing as marrying someone and not getting some in-laws, some friends, some co-workers, and maybe some kids from a previous marriage. Life is relationship and no man or woman is an island. We may as well get used to the idea that when we marry someone, he or she comes as a package. That's also a huge part of a covenant relationship.
Truth #5: Those in covenant with God share His relationships. So do couples in covenant marriage.
When God enters into a covenant with someone, He says what He said to Abraham in the Old Testament:
"I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." Genesis 12:3 (NIV)
We've already learned what a blessing is. God doesn't just want to limit his blessing to you and your husband or wife. He wants to bless others through you and your marriage. Here are some things that means:
· You and your spouse are supposed to be demonstrating God's love to those around you. You might do this by helping them or giving them something. But most importantly, whenever you do something nice for someone, as you have the opportunity, you should be telling them it's not you but God through you loving them. Lead them to His love so they, too, might choose to repent of their sin and trust Jesus as their Lord and Savior - so they, too, might experience the peace and joy and purpose that comes from that relationship.
· You and your spouse are to show others how Christians act - how to love each other, how to be patient with each other, how to encourage each other, how to sacrifice for each other. When someone watches the way the two of you deal with situations in your life, they should be saying, "I wish we were like them. What do they have that we don't have?" You'll be able to help them with that answer. His name is Jesus.
· People around you are going to begin joining you in your relationship with God. Friends and family who need Jesus are going to turn to Him. The best indicator you can have that you, as a couple, are being a blessing to others is that your own children are going to grow to trust Jesus with their lives and learn that no matter what career they end up pursuing, it can be a ministry - ". . . just like Mom and Dad's marriage was."
Uh oh. . . I didn't know anyone was really watching that closely. They are. You've got someone watching you as well. Some of them even look like a little you. They repeat what you say and they want to be just like you when they grow up. Your friends and your in-laws are influenced by how you act and what you say to each other more than you know. Don't ever underestimate the influence you have over those around you. And don't ever underestimate the ability of God to change hearts and your minds with His love.
If you look in the mirror and aren't convinced you're being a blessing to anyone, maybe it begins right here. Let God change the way you think about Him. Let Him change the way you think about your spouse. Let God change the way you think about those around you - even your in-laws. God loves the whole world - even your in-laws, your inconsiderate neighbors, and those sometimes disrespectful teenagers of yours - He loves even you - so much that He sent Jesus. Let the Holy Spirit transform the way you think so you'll begin to be a blessing to others. Heaven's going to be a much busier place some day because of you and your spouse. That's what Covenant Marriages are supposed to be all about.
Truth #1: God initiates all covenant relationships. . . especially Covenant Marriages.
Truth #2: Every covenant is based on the "if-then" principle. . . especially Covenant Marriages.
Truth #3: God blesses those in covenant with Him. A blessing enables. Those in a Covenant Marriage also bless each other, enabling each other to become more than they ever could without each other.
Truth #4: God blesses those in covenant with Him. A blessing is about status and identity.
Truth #5: Those in covenant with God share His relationships. So do couples in covenant marriage.
Dave Brown is a pastor and is on the CMM Board of Directors. He co-authored Covenant vs. Contract with Phil Waugh, the Director of CMM. He has a newly released book, Simple Christianity, available at www.amazon.com or through your local bookstore. He can be reached at davebrown@davebrownministries.com. His website www.davebrownministries.com is now up! |
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"We're Expecting!" |
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By Phil Waugh, Executive Director, The Covenant Marriage Movement These words can communicate volumes about a couple's present state of being. It's not so much what is said but how it's said. Initially, there might be (usually are) feelings of fear, anxiety, doubt, and even panic. Sometimes that never changes. But more often than not, these words are spoken with excitement and anticipation over the coming birth of a child.
Somewhere along the line, the physician or nurse will project the expectant date of delivery. Though this date isn't set in stone, they've gotten to be pretty accurate. Of course, later on in the pregnancy, should there be a need for a c-section, the date and time becomes even more definite with the scheduling of the surgery room and staff and all. But even then, only God determines the day and the hour of that baby's entry into this world.
There's another kind of "expecting." Couples who are living for the Lord have to learn to live in a state of expectancy. We need to always make sure there is room in our lives and schedules for God to "drop in." Like with the birth of a child, we try to calculate and estimate and say that this and that will happen, and we forget to make room for God to come in as He chooses. Would you be surprised if God came into your presence right now? What if He came into your marriage, into your family, in a way you had never looked for Him to come? Christ came as a baby in a manger. The general consensus from the religious leaders of that day was, "Whoa! We didn't see that coming! We weren't expecting that!" But they should have been, for the birth of the Savior had been foretold by their ancestors for centuries.
Expect the unexpected. Don't be surprised when God decides to step into your life with a God-sized task for you to do. Don't be caught off guard when God determines it's time for you to experience His presence in your life on a whole new level. He can do that . . . He is God!
I was talking with an expecting couple this morning and the mother was saying, "I can't wait for her to get here. I just keep wondering what she's going to look like." This is completely natural. It won't matter who or what she looks like. She will be loved by her adoring parents. With God, we oftentimes have this preconceived idea of what to look for or how He will appear to us. Don't look for God to come in any particular way. Just look for Him. Expect Him to come. When you do, you're making room for Him.
Richard and Tina were not expecting God to step into their marriage on January 8, 2008 and turn it around. Though both of them are Christians, they had pretty much made up their minds that the best thing for them to do was to go their separate ways. In fact, Tina had already told Richard that he may want to alert his mother that he may be coming to spend some time with her. But before they began what was anticipated to be one final conversation on the matter, Tina decided they needed to pray. And that is when God stepped in. As they prayed together the Holy Spirit permeated their hearts and minds and overwhelmed them with His presence. As Richard shared with a group of couples recently, "I didn't see that coming." However much we may know God, the great lesson to learn is that at any minute He may break in. We are apt to overlook this element of surprise, yet God rarely, if ever, works in any other way. All of a sudden God meets the life, "When it was the good pleasure of God . . . ." (Ephesians 1:9)
As individuals and couples, we need to keep our lives so constantly in contact with God that His surprising presence and power may show up at any moment and still not really catch us off guard. We should always live in a state of expectancy and see that we leave room for God to come in as He likes, when He likes. His thoughts are not our thoughts nor are His ways our ways. (Isaiah 55:8) His timing is usually not what we would prefer. (Acts 1:7)
Paul, in reference to his being called out to serve the Lord, said, "But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb and called me through His grace, to reveal His Son in me, that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately confer with flesh and blood. . . ." (Gal. 1:15-16) When it pleases Him, He will come and show us the way. When He determines it to be the right time, He will come to us and show us the way we are to go. Don't get ahead of God. Don't try to determine the when, the where, or the how of His will. Just be ready to go and don't put it off. Pray and consult His Word. Seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit and follow in obedience.
Jesus said, "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. But know this that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect. Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his master made ruler over his household, to give them food in due season? Blessed is that servant whom his master, when he comes, will find so doing." (Matt. 24:42-46)
Are you expecting on a daily basis? "Lord, help us live our lives in anticipation of your coming-your intervention-your visitation. Give us the eyes to see and ears to hear you when you arrive." Let's pray that together each morning and throughout each day.
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In this, the month of love, I hope your marriage reflects the greatest love of all, the gift of God's covenant with us. Please let me hear from you if you would like to share how God is working in your marriage!
Sincerely,
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Phillip Waugh
Covenant Marriage Movement
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